Four Questions to ask yourself in times of uncertainty.
We live in uncertain times. An ever-increasing level of stress and pressure is being placed upon regular people through financial strain, moral expectations, existential threats of climate change, and now, a pandemic. I cannot offer you precise, succinct, or even comforting answers. I am neither an epidemiologist, nor an immunologist, or even a risk analyst. The facts, even those from generally reliable sources, are evolving constantly. However, I would like to offer my clients and anyone who reads this an existential encouragement for coping during what is and will likely continue to be a time of unknowing.
“I do not rest on the broad upland of a system that includes a series of sure statements about the absolutes, but on a narrow, rocky ridge between the gulfs where there is no sureness of expressible knowledge but [only] the certainty of meeting what remains, undisclosed”. ~ Martin Buber
Martin Buber expresses succinctly how I would encourage everyone to approach the current situation. We do not know how bad the situation will get, how long it will last, or how it will impact our individual and collective daily lives, even if we can speculate. This does not mean, however, that we need to be scared frozen, for what we do know is that we will all be confronted by the situation, to varying degrees, at some point. I encourage everyone to consider confronting the coronavirus as follows:
What can I do?
Do the simple things that every health agency has been encouraging: wash your hands, self-isolate. Prepare for the coming weeks by asking What if? No doubt many of you have been doing this anxiously anyway. However, it is likely that you have not yet actually answered your worried question. So answer it! What if “x” happens? What could I do, what will I do? What if that does not happen? What if it does not work? Continue asking the question but also continue answering it. Leaving “What if” to linger will only exacerbate your anxieties.
How does it feel?
Feel into the situation. Feel into the worry. Acknowledge your fear, frustration, perhaps feelings of a lack of control or even a hopelessness. And then, return to the first step and ask, “What can I do?”. And in the most difficult of hopeless feelings, recall the brilliant and unique conception of hope that Viktor Frankl expressed when in the midst of the concentration camp at Auschwitz: “Until something happens, there is always a possibility that it will not”.
3. What is my responsibility?
Take responsibility for yourself and those close to you and whom you care about. Many of you are likely to be feeling the weight of the global responsibility of this crisis. While understandable and considerate, a pandemic such as this cannot and certainly should not be solved by individuals, especially those who have no, or indeed little power to affect anything beyond their immediate circles. The scale of the crisis requires a macro-response. If you are a health professional, a civil servant, or a first responder, then your responsibility is likely more, but it is not yours alone. Make sure you share that responsibility with everyone who has the power to affect a positive response and only accept the responsibility that is commensurate with your power and authority. For the rest of us, ask what power do I have? What choices can I make? And what aspects of my micro-situation am I willing to take responsibility for?
4. Now what? With all that in mind, below I am sharing with you the questions that I have answered for myself and what I plan to do:
What if I get the virus?
Then I shall follow the protocols issued by our health authorities: self-isolate and collaborate with health authorities to inform and track-down everyone who I have been in contact with. And then, I will be presented with a new situation that I need to confront, and I will apply the same principles and questions to determine what I chose to do next.
What if businesses shutdown and supplies become scarce?
Already I have started planning what kind of supplies I think I will need and intend to purchase some of them today. I will only be purchasing what I need and no more. If I have excess and supplies become scarce, I will share with those whom I can.
How will I deal with the potential frustrations of being self-isolated, quarantined, or indeed simply increased social distancing?
Simple steps such that we might take during a particularly wet and nasty storm: e.g. playing games, watching films (in their entirety without distractions), or taking on projects at home that I have been neglecting. I will still go outside. I will still walk, run, perhaps even cycle. And I shall greet my fellow citizens with a warm smile and knowing look that although distanced, this is a shared experience. I might also take a cue from my South African countrymen and women who, as a matter of course, will greet perfect strangers from across the road, in loud, warm, friendly, and tender tones, for as long as the crossing of their paths last.
Due to the nature of my work and my awareness that not everyone will feel able to answer these questions on their own, my practice will remain open as long as possible to ensure that at the very least, there will be someone to listen to them, someone to lament with, and someone to liaise with. Especially during this crisis in which social distancing is increasingly being encouraged, we must make sure that we do not severe our social connections.
